Inside deJoly

Poet's Corner
Going Public
Chapter One
Poet's Corner
Photo Gallery
Art Gallery
My Story
Five Kinds of Child Abuse
S.M.A.R.T. Presentations


Writing poetry was one of the ways my alters expressed their experiences and healed from their pain.  Although some of the poetry on these pages may be hard to read, part of my story is revealed by the individual alters who wrote them.
In 1997, Diary of a Survivor in Art and Poetry was published by Shadowood Publications.  Some of that artwork and poetry is on the pages of Inside deJoly

                October Nights


          Standing under the moon

          Silver light through trees

          Silhouette a tiny body

          Shivering in the night


          Bars clank shut

          The cage is big enough for two

          Only one sits inside

          With the rats


          Where is mommy?

          Why am I here?

          What did I do wrong?



                        Little Jody  10/7/02




If God Exists, Why Do I?


I should have died

With the others

Their pleas couldn’t be heard

I was silent

And I lived

If God exists, why do I?

There is no justice

Nothing makes sense.


                        Joly  10/7/02





                              Touch me, I’m real

                              Look at me, I see you

                              Don’t move, I’ll get you

                              Freeze, be still now

                              They see you through me

                              You can’t get away

                              I’ll always be here –


                                   In the shadows

                                   In the light

                              Touch me, I’m real



                                             Scarecrow   10/7/02





         I can’t watch anymore

         There’s nothing in the moon

         It sits there motionless

         Like me


         I wander in my mind

         To places no one sees

         They can’t go there

         It’s a secret


         You move your hands

         Over my body




         I’m motionless in the night

         It’s a secret



                        DeJo’Lee  9/1/02






sit down and shut up

ain’t nobody goin nowhere



you move and you’re dead


deader ‘n a door knob

cold to the touch


you listen and you listen good

you ain’t no better ‘n me

hear me

no better


now move over

make way you coward

you fuck with me

and you’re dead



            Defiant Bitch  9/1/02




                                                  Breathe In


                                        Sunset over mountain ridges

                                        Purple, pink, gold, blue

                                        Marshmallow clouds

                                        Summer breeze

                                        Breathe in

                                        This is the breath of life


                                        Dance on tiptoes between dewdrops

                                        Angels delight with fairy swirls

                                        Cotton candy sticky sweet

                                        Piccadilly band trumpets afire

                                        Breathe in

                                        This is the breath of life


                                        Tiny mud dishes set for two

                                        After the rain

                                        Listen to the quiet of the mist

                                        Sunset over the pines

                                        Breathe in

                                        This is the breath of life


                                        Dandelions sway yellow

                                        Then float away

                                        To heaven’s door

                                        Sit quietly at the gate

                                        Breathe in

                                        This is the breath of life



                                               Nature Girl (3) and Nature Girl (25)






Full moon unveils this hazy night

Black and silver trees move in close

Lurking near with outreached hands

Whispering their curses and

Threats of death

As the nocturnal wind pushes through

Their heavy branches


Closer still and soon they will have me

Trembling, fearful, I stand my ground –


Clutching my naked body

Revealing my smallness – my aloneness

I am vulnerable in Satan’s light

This awful full moon night


Silent shadows slow at first

The dancers twirl – on toes, on knees

Faster, faster, up and down

Side to side

Mumbling chants of glory hallelujah

Then shouts of praise to Satan


Red and Black, Red and Black

The fire burns sparks into the air

Snap, snap, snap – the coals chuckle

Waiting for their next sacrifice

It must be me – I must be next


Dancers cold and clammy hands

Grab at my body, shoving me closer

To the fire

Stumbling, crawling, rolling

I can’t take anymore


I float away from the madness

Into a peaceful world of softness

Of beautiful smells where flowers abound

My heart is at rest once more

They cannot reach me here



Big deJoly & Chosen One  12/9/92